Love Story: Tiffany and Stany

Tiffany & Stany

Tiffany and Stany have been together for 6 years and married for 4 months. Savion, their son is 2 years & 4 months old. The couple met through a former mutual friend they went on an outing to  a club.

What was your first impression of him?

He was independent and weird, not the average man. His passion for his profession (DJ and online radio station owner) was evident and he was optimistic about life. I saw a lot of qualities in him that I wanted for myself. I already knew he and I would be an item. He was what I wanted: an available, great man and I have no shame in admitting it.

Where did you go on your first date? How was it?

I am not too sure if you can say we ever dated. We were always friends first, so the love we had for one another was just natural. He and I would always laugh at overly-romantic couples. It just wasn't our thing. We'd hang out and explore, not so much "date". We could go out with friends and not make anyone feel uncomfortable or like a third wheel, that's what I admired about our relationship. It wasn't superficial.

The night of the engagement

Q: How did he propose?

Our proposal was more like a mutual decision and conversation. There were no fireworks. We didn't take a trip to the Eiffel Tower. It was just genuine. We were both on the same page and realized that we were already living the married life. We'd been doing so for 4 years and realized that having a celebration and signing a piece of paper wasn't going to make things worse. We just couldn't imagine marrying anyone else. It was destined to happen, so we made it happen. We had gotten engaged August 2008 and set a date for September 2009. I had found out I was pregnant late January 2009 and throughout the course of my pregnancy everyone wanted us to rush the wedding so we wouldn't have the baby out of wedlock. It caused me to think and I did what was in my nature, I postponed the wedding. We walked down the aisle in October 2011 with our 2 year old as our ring bearer. It was perfect. We were in control of our own happiness. We paid for our own wedding in its entirety, no debt! So we were REALLY ready.  :)

What do you believe sets him apart from other guys?

He is weird and so am I. We are like twins, same zodiac sign; Our birthdays are 5 days apart. He was respectful and never once has he displayed any anger or pessimism, which is what I needed in my aura. I never heard him curse and he has a forgiving spirit. He makes me want to be a better woman and I inspire him to be a better man and that's what it's all about. No one can change anyone, but you can inspire them to want to be better.

What do you feel keeps your relationship strong?

The way we speak to one another. We don't down talk each other, we don't shout or yell at each other, we discuss everything! We sacrifice...We respect...We support...We give...We depend...on one another. We never go to bed mad at one another...

Any advice you want to give to new couples?

Leave the past in the past. We never cared for our past relationships because they obviously weren't for us. Accept the fact that others came before you. Harboring over your past will only hinder your present and future. Which brings me to my next point, If you are going to commit your time and effort to someone, then you have to give your relationship a fair chance. You must trust your partner. You must communicate with your partner and depend on one another. A lot of people get into relationships and all I hear them say is "I am independent and I don't need anyone." This mentality is just what you have said it is, an independent solitary one. If you are going to bring someone into your life you must depend on them and allow them to rely on you. That's what a relationship is, one of freedom, yet dependence. I depend on my husband for support and faith. I depend on him for acknowledgement and attentiveness, for fidelity and truth and there's nothing wrong with that. Before marrying someone, be sure to live with them. Be sure to witness your partner during his/her worst times before walking down the aisle. My husband and I have seen each other at our worst and we've struggled together, so getting married has been a piece of cake. Nothing has changed. People ask me how it feels to be married and it feels...the same.  :)

FMU's Caribbean Pageant. Stany was the host for the event and I went for support.

Taken at the Buju Banton concert before he was sentenced for drug possession charges. It was special because music played a pivotal part in our relationship. We could always describe our love through songs.